Suicide Hotline

Guess what I did today?

If you said 'Called a Suicide Hotline', then you are correct!

How I feel about them? Well, take a look.

Suicide Hotlines are basically people who probably need no more than 4 years of college trained in psychology operating a national hotline. The woman I spoke to was very nice, but here's the thing - I could hear her technique.

She was very young, first off. I'd say she was around... 23-25 years old. The technique is basically to distract the person who is suicidal until they don't feel that way anymore. My favourite part was when she told me the people around me would care if I died.

I replied "That's the thing - I don't CARE if they'll care. When you're dead, it doesn't matter."

"Do you think no one would care if you died?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that when you're dead, whether people care about you or not is irrelevant. I know it's incredibly selfish, but I don't care at this point."

Again, she tried using my empathy against me. Oh, but wait. I don't HAVE empathy so it was a shitty tactic.

At the end of our conversation, she then used this tactic "Can you promise me something? Promise me after we hang up, you will not commit suicide." I can understand that this is protocol for ending all suicide hotline conversations. But it's not like I'll hold onto this promise as if it's the only thing I have in the world. My friends, I am sitting on a blanket. Under that blanket is a high quality down comforter. Underneath that down comforter is a bed that I screwed a girl on until she screamed her lungs out. Rather than having NOTHING in the world, I can have ANYTHING in the world. Treasuring a promise doesn't quite work for me.

But I told her "I don't have the time to kill myself anymore. My friends will be here soon." She was hesitant, but it was better than a 'no'.

We hung up.

End conversation.

Meh, it was worth a shot.