Monday, June 21, 2010

20's Fashion!

Upon request, I have been asked what 20's fashion looks like.

As I start writing this, I understand that this is easier thought of than explained, so please bear with me if my explanations are "WTF" or inaccurate.


The flapper.

The flapper is, I believe, the most popular 'fashion' to ever rise out of the 1920s for women. I'm dressed as one in the picture above. Ideally, I believe they were thinner... not saying I am fat. Simply saying that they were those girls that were boxy, short, and had very few curves. Flappers were the girls who were tired of all the Victorian era rules. "Your dress has to be THIS long, you hair has to be THIS long... blah blah blah..." Like having short hair? Thank the flappers. They were the first ones to chop off their hair into a bob and then finger waved it. As for dresses; flappers would wear dresses that went up above or teasingly on their knees. The bottom part of their dresses was very loose and would flap around when they danced. Hence, they were called flappers. Wear heels, dangly earrings, red lipstick (Shiny, not matte.) Let the lipstick drift more on the dark red side, rather than VeVa red. Remember, she dresses up like a time period a little later.

Another good thing to go by is the musical Chicago. Yes, that's 1930's, but the prohibition was from the 20's - the 30's and I believe that is the theme for the Shanghi Mermaid.

Makeup! Black eyeliner black eyeliner black eyeliner! BRING OUT THOSE EYES. I do not believe they drew on the waterline just yet, however the top lid was a MUST with black eyeliner. Make it dark, make it deep. I suggest liquid eyeliner. Also, black mascara is a must as well, even if you are blonde. Flappers liked to keep their eyebrows very thin - some even shaved the damn things off and drew them on! Don't mutilate your face if you don't know how, though :] Their faces were VERY powdered and were often described as looking whiter than death. Or like vampires, even. Also! Cheek rouge is a MUST. If you want to REALLY look like a flapper, apply your makeup at the shanghi mermaid by looking in a compact to do little touch ups. Flappers were known for whipping their makeup out in public, which at the time was very scandalous.

I suggest looking at pictures of Greta Garbo from the silent age of films, before her work in the 1940's or late 30's. Also look up the black and whites of Jean Harlow.

Hats! One of the popular types of hats is the one I am wearing above. Shown here. Women would stick all sorts of pins in their hats. Jazz it up. Make it you. This was another popular hat cut. Sometimes instead of hats, women would wear head bands. I couldn't find any good pictures of women wearing them, but they looked like this.

Jewelery! Dangle, dangle dangle! LONG necklaces that you can wrap around your neck twice, if possible. Remember, we want things to flap! Long dangly earrings, bangles to go on your wrists.

If you want to cover up on the train, you can wear an old fashion coat. If you need more of an idea on 1920's female fashion, remember that it was brought on by the enthrallment of the orient. Oriental print was IN at the time, sometimes women would even wear oboes on their dresses. Here's another example I found. If you need help, google 1920's dress. I've done just about all I can do. Any questions, ask away!


Heels. Fuck. Just.... this will give you a good example of shoes.


Easy. Wear a black suit with a white button up shirt underneath and a tie. I'd suggest a pipe, but I don't know if smoking is allowed in there, and if it is, I will hit you for joining in. I'd suggest looking up the black and whites of Ricardo Cortez

John Gilbert

Or Robert Montgomery.

All look the same to you? See? THE MEN HAD IT SIMPLE.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

I'm so fucking stressed right now and my body refuses to cry.

As of late, I have become self destructive again. I've refrained from most self injury though. I will admit, I slipped up a week or so ago when I couldn't find my razor and I tried to slice my leg open with a sewing pin. But I'm terrified of needles and the feeling was violating if anything, so I only scraped and didn't draw blood. It was reckless anyway - I didn't even sterilize it. I was frantic from the loss of my cutting stash and was willing to do anything, anything to let my skin breathe.

Whenever I get the urge to break anything, I tell myself that those mountains in the distance will be tackled when the time comes. It holds off my stress for a while. And when it returns I tell it the same thing and it goes away once more.

But now I'm at those mountains and there are many cross paths interfering with one another.

1. VKA meet. Veronica still hasn't gotten back to me about the location of the shanghi mermaid - I had to find the time of the performance myself. So many people are relying on me for this. I feel like, if anything, a giant failure. And really, who could I blame? Veronica? She has her own life, I'm not her responsibility. While it is not my fault, I still believe people will think it is.

What's more, I'm terrified about my checking account. I'm low on money. I'm scared something is going to go horribly wrong at VKAmeet and I'll over draft again. I can't afford that. I can't. I think I just won't eat while I'm there. Sides, Dad tells me I'm fat. I can go without a few meals.

2. My dog. I don't live at mom's. Cleo loves me, but I can hardly see him now, as I'm busy at home. Mom's house isn't a good place. It scares him. Mom won't believe me. I feel like a horrible being for falling in love with my dog and bringing him to my place. My mother literally has a killer's instinct. I am worried for Cleo's life. After all, she almost killed her sister once, so why wouldn't she kill my dog.

3. College finances. I'm a vocal major. I won't have the type of job that will just pay off loans and I'm going to be 100K in debt after graduation. God, if only the entire world knew what it was like to always want to hang yourself.

4. Meds. I'm going to be put on them soon. I've heard enough horror stories to know all that can go wrong.

5. I've begun to hate myself. How arrogant I've become. I feel stupid. Uneducated. Disrespectful. Lazy. Pathetic. Pointless.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

My mom.

It's no secret that I dislike my mother.

Today, my friend Pablo and I told his parents that he was transferring colleges and needless to say, they threw shit at hm. They refused to cosign a loan and refused to acknowledge the fact that they wouldn't be paying a cent for his college education.

When all hope seemed lost, he dropped me off at my place. My mom confronted him asking him how it went and offered to cosign for him. I was speechless. We shared a giant hug and things were going along great.

Then mom made a phone call and decided to have a drinking party at her friend's house. She then turned to us and told us to babysit my brother while she was gone.

Pablo said he couldn't because the driving curfew for provisional license holders is 11 PM and she'd be back after that, around 12 AM. Well, mom and I debated this a bit in Spanish and we decided that we'd take my brother job hunting with us and we'd meet her back at the house at 10:30.

Mom didn't call until 10:45. I could tell from her voice that she was drunk, if not only tipsy. I asked her where she was and her reply was "Oh, you didn't call me." Of course I didn't call her. Forgive me for trusting her to once be on time.

Anyway, she told us to pick her up. I asked where she was and she told me she was at so-and-so's house. I told her I didn't know who that was. She said it was next to another so-and-so's house. I told her I didn't know where that was either.

"Oh yes you do!" She said "You've been there before!"

"No, I have not."

"Well then, I'm NOT coming home." and she hung up. The fucking bitch hung up.

So, I called back and finally, she gave me directions. I hung up on her before she could ask for anything else.

So, we get to the house and my mom is outside in atrocious wear. Her eyes are glazed over and she is most certainly drunk. There is heat lightening flashing every 5 seconds.

Mom doesn't look happy at all. She refused to get into the car. She asked me "Where's Andrew?"

"He's at home sleeping. Get inside the car."

"No. Get out of the car. NOW."

So, I do and she begins telling me how I'm unreliable and how she's disappointed in me. I tell her that we're only a few houses away (for SERIOUS) and that she's left him alone for HOURS. This was only for a minute.

She wouldn't have any of it. She says she's not coming home and I brought this upon myself. She turns to leave when I lightly grab her arm and she fucking STUMBLES into me. I ask her how much she's had to drink.

She stops as if she really has to think about it and says "Three glasses". Which means somewhere around five.

I begin to plead with her to please come home. She asks me if I'm going to be there and I say "no."

"Well then, I feel VERY manipulated." And she gets into the back seat. She then realizes she left her keys inside the house and leaves the car, knocking on Pablo's window. "You know what? I'm very dissapointed in you too! To think I said I'd cosign a loan for you! You are a very, VERY disorganized person!

"I'm walking home! Goodbye!" And she walked away.

The car ride back was the first silent car ride Pablo and I ever shared. I was reminded of when I was younger and my mom was drunk all the time.

The most horrible part of this all is that mom is only this pissed because she's drunk. She's making mountains out of molehills. But tomorrow, it won't matter because she's in DENIAL that she's drunk, so there's no persuading her to think otherwise.

Pablo said he never expected her to cosign, really. That she'd bail out on him when he showed her the paper. I didn't say that I actually trusted her, only to have my trust trampled again.

I told Pablo I hated her today, and I think my little brother heard me. I can't hide how much I abhor her very well these days.

Mom kept calling me by my brother's name when she was drunk.

I wonder why I was born.