Thursday, May 20, 2010

Suicide Hotline Trial 2

Second time was a lot better than the first.

The lady on the other end was very caring and affectionate. She didn't stop between sentences, she was human.

She made me promise not to hurt myself anymore today and she was so nice, I may just hold onto my promise to her.

She told me to tell my therapist about all this, but the truth is that he worries so much. He might contact the hospital and I don't want to go there. What would he say if he knew I tried to suffocate myself today 3 times? Stupid endorphins - if it weren't for them, I'd be comfortable and dead by now.

I told myself over and over my mind was just playing tricks on me. Perhaps drowning would be a better alternative to plastic bags.

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